Vulnerability post incoming + some life news I haven’t shared anywhere else
I recently hit the reset button my approach to my personal health
And I committed to that health for 2 whole weeks, pretty darn consistently.
In the last quarter of this year, my body went through a lot… which I’ll share more of below, and it got to a point of “okay, if there’s ever a time to tighten the reigns on my health – for my current wellbeing and my future – the time is NOW”.
I committed to more movement, like real movement. Not the half ass workouts I had been doing in between a million other things while letting my mind run wild. Yeah, I’ve been hella busy this year, and it wasn’t until I stopped to assess everything that I realized that busy-ness was impacting my workouts. I was doing the workouts, but not really doing the WORK.
so I tighten the reigns on my fitness
And then there’s nutrition – I’ve always been mindful of what I eat, while allowing the flexibility to indulge and enjoy. But again, when I stopped to really assess what I was putting in my body, I realized I could tighten things up there too.
So I simply stopped eating my toddlers leftovers. The food I was eating for MYSELF? That was pretty good. But I don’t know, I just don’t like waste. So when I would fix my 2-year old some food that he loved the day prior but didn’t want that day, I would end up eating it. Resulting into more calorie intake then I needed.
So I tightened the reigns on my nutrition
I also restarted some habits and routines that I had learned to love during my time of trying to cope with and heal my postpartum anxiety – more quiet, more gospel music, and the big one – cold water therapy.
Yes, in the coldest, darkest month of the year, I re-implemented my version of cold water therapy: ending my showers with 60 seconds of cold water. Why? To focus on controlling my breathing. Heck, because cold water therapy in general is something that I CAN control. I am in control of turning the water to cold and I am in control of choosing to stay in the water.
So I tightened the reigns on my mental well-being
It’s only been 2 weeks, seriously, only two weeks of buckling down a little more (but still not as hard as I used to obsessively do in my early twenties) and I’ve seen positive change!
But it wasn’t easy, primarily because my body has gone through ALOT over the last 2.5 months. I mean it, a LOT of change, scroll down to read.
It does feel good to be in control of such positive change in such a short amount of time. It’s not drastic, I’m not promising you will drop X amount of lbs or body fat %. But I am promising you that you will feel better just by choosing to COMMIT. And actually following through.
This is just 2 weeks of self-commitment and positive habits, think about what 30 days (or more) could look like.
Join the 30-day commit New Year’s Habit Challenge and experience positive change like this, while working alongside a group of others to be held accountable!
The challenge begins on January 1 and features daily commitment to ourselves, 4X weekly workouts, weekly nutrition help and recipes, group check ins, and more!
Now, I promised you the story of my WHY behind this change…
I wasn’t looking to change my body or be critical of it. I wasn’t upset about my weight, even though I had been hanging out at 15-20lbs higher than before I got pregnant in 2021. I was totally content with my body as it was, mostly because I knew that I wanted to have another baby and I wanted to get pregnant again, so I wasn’t in the business of being strict on my body, losing body fat percentage, etc.
And then I did get pregnant! I took a positive pregnancy test on the way home from a work convention on October 22. Blood tests at my OBGYN that week confirmed the pregnancy, and more bloodwork 2 weeks later confirmed that I was still pregnant.
Then, on November 27 I went in for my 9 week ultrasound and was told that the baby had no heartbeat and that I was experiencing a miscarriage. gut wrenching. That news was hard to take in, but I surprised myself with how quickly I recovered mentally from it and found myself at peace with the fact that it was completely out of my control.
The only thing here was that my body had not passed everything yet… well, it hadn’t passed anything yet. So 6 days later, on a Sunday, I took some medicine (Cytotec) to encourage my body to pass the miscarriage.
I did, I bled, it was a whole day thing. It was over, and I was looking forward to getting back to my “non-pregnant self” especially because I was still quite nauseous and tired.
A week later, I got my HCG levels checked to make sure it had all passed, and my levels were still really high. Like 80,000+ high. My doctor request an ultrasound the next week to check everything out internally, which is where they discovered that my body had not passed everything and that I would need a D&C to finish the process.
This was harder to process mentally than the miscarriage itself. Primarily because I thought it was already over, but here I was 3 weeks later going in to the OBGYN office for a D&C, fully awake, just drugged up.
The process itself wasn’t as bad as I feared and my doctor did confirm that I am one strong mothaf*cka (hehe). They sent some of the remains off for testing and the news I got three days later was the triggering point for me to really hone in on my health.
Doctor called to tell me that I had actually experienced a molar pregnancy, which is not something I am educated enough on to try to explain but the bottom line is: my egg had been fertilized by 2 sperm at once, creating double the amount of chromosomes, resulting in a fetus that would never had been viable. The real kicker here though is that molar pregnancies can lead to a certain type of gestational cancer if not handled correctly (without knowing it, the D&C that we had already done was the first correct course of action). Because of that risk, we now have to track my hormone levels now to make sure they get back to baseline (as of today my HCG is down to 704 so trending in the right direction) and also track for 6 months to make sure they don’t spike back up (this would be indicative of a problem).
So I cannot try to conceive again for at least 6 months. Making the age gap between my son and my potential future child even greater.
So I’m choosing to make these 6 months ones that are focused so heavily on MY HEALTH.
My body has been through a lot in the past 2.5 months. Increasing hormones to decreasing hormones, and everything in between. It throws the body for a loop, and then 20 more, and that is why I tightened the reigns and this is why I encourage you to do the same. You never know when your health can change and you never know when you might not have control over your body.
I’m going all in on my health in 2024 and I really, really invite you to join me!
Click here to join, and tell a friend <3